If I lose myself
by T87
Summary: AU: Santana had a car accident and after a couple of days in the hospital, she finally woke up. She has a broken arm, a few scratches and stitches but the worst part is that she doesn't remember anything from the last three years of her life. So she has to try to get back her life again step by step, the problem is when two women suddenly appear, both claiming be her girlfriend.
1. Chapter 1

**If I lose myself:**

**Chapter 1: **

I wake up in a strange room feeling my whole body aches, at first I can't see nothing because sunlight is making my vision blurry but I'm pretty sure that I'm not even in my house. Wait a moment I'm in…. No way… What the heck! My right arm is cast and the left one has scratches all over! Is this a hospital gown? Why am I in a hospital?! Why am I lying in a hospital bed? I can't remember what happened!

I'm having a panic attack, my heart is racing, my hands are sweating, I'm barely breathing is like my lungs suddenly are small and I can't have enough air, I'm choking. I really try to scream at least talk loud enough for someone to hear me. I need any kind of explanation but my throat is sore and dry, so instead talking I started to cough. I decided to leave the room I'm not sure why, but I need to get out of this hospital for god's sake I need fresh air. When I try to get up a beep sounds because I'm linked to the machine by some wires.

"Wow, slow down Miss Lopez" a male nurse with black hair appeared trough the door of the room running towards me, "You finally woke up! We were starting to worry" the Asian man smiled kindly while is helping me to lie down again on the bed "You can't get up, you definitely need to take it easy!" He seems a good person and his voice is so calm.

"Wh..at is going…." I can't talk properly and still have a little trouble with my breathing and the young man could see in my face that I'm freaking out took me gently by the shoulders

"Listen Miss Lopez, you need to calm down and breathe" and he pushes the button to call another nurse "If you don't calm we'll have to sedate you. Beside you just wake up and I think that you already catch your beauty sleep"

"Do you need something Mike?" Another nurse, a blonde woman, said nonchalantly poking her head through the door and when she realized the situation says "Oh! She is awake!" and came closer the bed.

"Quinn, the patient needs some water and can you page Doctor Schuester?" he said still smiling.

"No problem, I'll be back in a moment" and she leaves quickly.

The truth is that since the nurses are in here with me I'm calmer although I still don't know what is going. I try to talk again, but the other nurse came back with a glass of water and gave it to me.

"Here, drink. Now I'm going to page Schuester" she said looking between me and the male nurse and when she was about to leave the room again she turns around and looks at me "Miss Lopez, I'm glad you wake up, it was about time!" she chuckled and goes away.

I don't know why she said that but I can't help and smile a little bit I don't what happened but I'm really glad to be back again. The male nurse is still standing by my bed and I believe he can see my puzzled face.

"Don't worry she's not a creepy nurse or something like that, it's just that she started to work in the hospital the same day you were brought in here, so she's been taking care of you, well, we both were taking care of you" he explains while I drank the water, my throat doesn't hurt as much as before and he keeps talking. "Where are my manners, my name is Mike Chang and the young woman that just left is Quinn Fabray".

"Listen Mike I don't want to seem rude" I clear my throat "What the fuck is going on, why am I in a damn hospital?!" I try to stay calm but is really difficult.

"Don't you remember?" He asks a little surprised.

"Do you think this is the face from a person who knows what is going on?!" I said while I point myself with my index finger "Hello Earth to Chang!".

"Probably not" He scrunched his face. "Miss Lopez five days ago you had a car accident. And you were in coma since then".

"I HAD A CAR CRASH!" I was in a car crash and I don't even remember.

"I can't find Schuester, nobody knows where he is" The other nurse, Quinn came back to the room.

"Ok, you go first and try to find him again I'll catch you in a moment" he said looking at Quinn, she nods and goes away. "Miss Lopez you are awake now, everything is going to be fine" he tries her best to calm me down.

"Is easy for you to say, you weren't in a freaking car crash that you don't even remember!" I snap at him and he looks away. "I know is not your fault" I feel a bit bad because the poor man has nothing to do with the accident "I'm really nervous because I woke up in a hospital and then you tell me that I had a car accident, this is like a nightmare, my world is upside down. Besides, I don't like hospitals, like at all" I said sincerely.

"Don't worry Miss Lopez, many people don't like hospitals" he laughs a little trying to light the mood.

"So at this moment your doctor is nowhere to be found so I'm going to look for him with Quinn, if you have any problem or need anything just push the red button" he said mimicking the voice of a host from TV.

"I don't need beauty sleep" Mike who was walking towards the door suddenly stops and turned around to face me with a surprised face "I look fabulous even after a car accident, as you can see" he was laughing while shakes his head "And you can call me Santana".

"Ok" and then leaves.

I can't believe I had an accident, wait a moment, I'm the only one hurt, I crashed with someone?! What if I hurt somebody else or even worse if I killed someone, that's unlikely because there is no sign of cops around here but I don't know, is this just like in the movies? When they stay around until the bad guy wakes up or what? I was lost in thoughts when someone clears their throat; Quinn is leaning in the door frame.

"We finally found the Doctor; he will be here in no time. You need something?"

"I have a question"

I try to get up a little bit because I'm sick of being on the bed the whole time, but then when I move I feel like someone is beating the crap out of my chest. With my left hand I pushed the hospital gown to look at my chest and I can see why hurts like hell when I was trying to move I have a very big bruise.

"It is due to the seat belt" Without noticing Quinn has come near to me "But the belt saved you from worse injuries, so it's a little price to pay. I'll bring you painkillers".

"Wait" I grab her arm before she leaves again "I have a question and I need an honest answer".

"Ok, shoot!"

"The accident was my fault? I killed somebody?"

She remained in silent. I know I'm not a saint, I'm stubborn and sometimes I'm numb to other people's feelings but that doesn't mean I'm fine causing an accident.

"Your silent is killing me!" Her silent can only mean one thing "It is my fault, isn't it? Damn!"

"I just kept silent like 3 seconds because I was thinking. No need to freak out!" She puts her hands in her hips. "I don't know all the details, but the accident wasn't your fault. A truck skipped the speed limit; the truck driver lost the control and hit your car".

"Sam needs help with the guy from the 203" another nurse said carrying clean bed sheets and goes away quickly.

"Ok Mercedes, I'm on my way! I have to go now but if you need anything just press the red button" she said mimicking the voice of a hostess from TV just like Mike previously did. They are such a weirdos but I can't help laughing.

Oh sweet Jesus I'm beyond of glad! I don't killed anyone and wasn't my fault. I felt like a huge burden had been lifted off my chest. After 10 minutes Mike appears with a curly haired man with a stethoscope around his neck, is easy to guess that this is my doctor.

"I'm William Schuester, nice to meet you" he claps his hands before talking again "How are you feeling?"

He looks my arms, now he pulls out a small flashlight and checks my eyes and then starts with my legs. I don't realize that I have scratches all over my body until now and a few stitches in my right eyebrow. I'm a total wreck.

"Truth is that I've had better days"

"Quinn told me that you need painkillers, so after you eat a little you can take one of this every 4 hours"

He puts a pill box on the table next to me, now that the examination is over Schuester waves his hand to make Mike come closer to the bed and talks again.

"So Miss Lopez, Mike told me that you don't remember the accident"

"I don't even remember drive my car!"

"Traumatic memories can cause life problems, so our brain blocks them out in order to survive. But as far as I'm concerned it's all good" he politely smiles as he puts his hands in the pockets of the white coat "But we still need make some test to be sure".

"I can't wait going for a walk in central park" I said truthfully, I can't wait to go home and I'm only been awake like a couple of hours.

"Well you maybe need a weekend to go over there" Schuester said laughing like I was joking.

"I don't understand why you are laughing? A lot of people usually go to walk or run in central park"

"Of course, if you live in New York" Mike said nonchalantly.

"And do you think where I live in the moon or what? My apartment isn't that far from the park" Mike and Doctor Schuester suddenly stopped laughing.

"Are you saying that you live in New York?" Schuester was looking straight in my eyes.

"Yes. Why are you looking at me like that? It's kind of weird"

"According to your file you are currently living in Boston" Mike answered reading the folder that was at the end of my bed.

"Are you two insane?! If I live in Boston why I'm in a New York's hospital, nonsense" And these people are taking care of my heath, unbelievable!

"Miss Lopez this is the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston" The doctor said pointing to the logo on the front pocket of his coat.

"Are you messing with me, aren't you?"

"Miss Lopez, quickly tell me what is your name, your age, where do you live and what year do we live in? Schuester asked.

"You're so irritating; I'm telling you that I want another doctor!"

"Please, just answer" Mike said seriously.

"My name is Santana Lopez, I'm 25 years old and I live in New York and the year is 2010" I said in annoyed voice "Are you happy now? Can we move on another topic or leave me alone? Whatever you like"

"Miss Lopez we are in Boston, you have 28 years old are and the current year is 2013"

"WHAT!"


	2. Chapter 2

Feliç diada de Sant Jordi a tothom!

* * *

**If I lose myself:**

**Chapter 2: **

I wake up in a strange room, my whole body aches, my chest particularly hurts so badly and my right arm itches. Wait a moment I'm in…. No way… What the heck! Is this a hospital gown? Why am I in a hospital? Again… Oh my god why this seems so familiar, right now is like a déjà vu, but this time I can exactly remember what happened. A little bit ironic, since I really can't remember a damn thing about the last three years of my life but at this very moment seems that my short-term memory works well.

After Schuester realized that I have a partial loss of memory, he tried to explain it to me and I had a rage attack, but don't blame me! How a person is supposed to react after finding about something like this, I just freaked out! So they sedated me and I guess after a couple of hours from sleep here I am, again, waking up in a hospital from Boston.

Through the window I can see that is probably a little bit late maybe 8 or 9, there is not sunlight like the first time I woke up and outside my room there are barely noises. I pushed the bottom to call a nurse. I'm hungry, and in fact I'm not sure when I had a decent meal. After five 5 minutes instead of a nurse, Doctor Schuester came to the room. This time the Doctor is wearing his daily basis clothes, probably he was in his way home.

"How are you, Miss Lopez?" he said standing a little bit far from my bed I guess he don't trust me anymore or maybe he has bad news.

"Not you!" I sighed, "Tell me that you don't have more bad news, my plate is full right now" If I get more bad news I'll lose my mind!

"No more bad news for you, I just want to finish the previous talk we started".

"Go ahead" Is not like I have another option like walking away or shout, because whatever I do nothing is going to change.

"Earlier I was telling you that I know that isn't the perfect situation but you have to be happy about it" I frown and he sighs but continues, "Most people who lose their memory, they just lose everything. Even in worse cases, Broca's area or Wernicke's area can be injured for example".

"So…." He is expecting any reaction but I really don't have the slightest idea that what he is talking about.

"Broca's area is a region of our brain with functions linked to speech production, after an injury they lost the ability to speak. However, Wernicke's area is involved in the understanding of written and spoken language, so if the area is damaged there is a major impairment of language comprehension, while speech retains a natural-sounding rhythm and a relatively normal syntax but the language result is largely meaningless".

"Are you telling me that because I survived a car accident and I can properly talk and actually say coherent things, I need move on and be happy?".

"Absolutely, I know that three years of your live is quite time, but trust me, eventually you will remember everything, I really believe that's a matter of time!".

"No offense but I don't want my doctor believing in things, I want my doctor to state facts".

"With this kind of injury" He said pointing to my head "The only we can do is wait".

"So now is my fault, that I'm amnesic!" Now I'm more hopeless than before.

"You don't have amnesia, you have a partial loss….".

"I know! I know! I have no memories but I'm not stupid!" This man would be the end of the last bit of my sanity.

"You need to calm down. You're overreacting again!".

"If someone tells me that I need to calm down, I'll kill them" I'm losing my temper, again. "I wake up in a hospital in Boston, not even in New York, after a car accident and a partial loss of memory" I'm trying to make a point "I think I can overreact all I want, because this sucks, on so many levels that you can't even begin to understand".

"But, Miss Lopez…." He was trying to talk but I raise my index finger to shut him up.

"And I know, I really, really do, I'm the lucky one in here, like I born again, but still it's difficult and I need time to readapt, and since I can't go away or scream to vent my sorrows, the least I can do is overreact in this freaking hospital bed!".

Schuster is shocked with my little speech and I have to admit that after saying all this out loud, I'm kind of relived.

"Okay then, overreact all that you need. I'll see you tomorrow".

Without any word, he quickly left the room. Damn it! He left before I could ask him for food; I'm still hungry so I push the button again. After a few minutes the blonde nurse, Quinn came to the room in her daily basis clothes. Why is everyone leaving now? Maybe if I ask politely I can leave the hospital too, yeah, I know, only in my dreams.

"Good evening, Santana! From now I will call you sloth, because since I met the only thing you do is sleep" She handles me a sandwich and a bottle of water "I guess you were a hungry!".

"Funny!" I answered, quickly grabbing the sandwich and the bottle she was giving me. "But excuse me my memory lately fails, but we haven't formally introduced, have we? So what you think that you can call me by my first name?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that Mike introduced himself and mine, so you already knew my name and besides, I told you that you weren't a killer that must count to skip the formalities, don't you think?".

"Fair enough" I smiled.

"Before I forget" She opened her purse and put a book on the table beside me "Mike gave it to me earlier, I hope you enjoy reading".

"Yeah I like reading; at least I used to enjoy it. The murder of Roger Ackroyd, I don't remember if I already read it" I joked.

Quinn is going to keep my company for a while; she is waiting for Sam, another nurse to end his turn. And we started to talk.

"The guy from the room 203 is a well known stuntman who broke his leg from two different points" Quinn explains.

"There are some jobs that are more dangerous than other".

"Yeah I agree, but he was trying to impress a woman and fell off the trampoline" she said laughing.

"So he can jump from a burning building without getting hurt but he broke…" I shake my head and I can't finish the sentence because is so funny "What a moron!" My stomach hurts from all the laughing.

"They always said that the heedless are those with more guts".

Talking with Quinn is fun but I have a couple more questions about the accident and since she seems more helpfully than Schuester I'm going to try to get some answers.

"Quinn I have another question".

"Don't worry you didn't rob a bank, either".

"Funny!".

"I'm just saying!" She raises her hands.

"In the car accident, my belongings, do you know where they are?" I need to start to get my life back.

"One moment" She pulls out the phone from the pocket of her jeans and started to type, after a couple of seconds the phone beeps several times "Your phone and laptop are crushed, in other words you need a new phone and a new laptop" The phones beeps again "You only had your purse with the typical stuff and a Patrick Star plush" she said still looking her phone.

I'm shock. What is going on in here? Is she in FBI or what? I was expecting an answer like at the police station, an office from lost objects or something like that not an accurately description.

"The Patrick Star plush is okay because it was under the passenger seat" Quinn continues, when she lifts her head from the phone, she can see how surprised I am.

"Well, you probably must wonder why I know all this stuff about the accident. First of all I'm not a stalker" She clears her throat. "A friend of mine, Finn, was one of paramedics who helped at the accident, jointly with firemen and police. He knows all about the accident because is a friend of the police officer, Karesky or Karofsky I don't remember" Her phones beeps again, "The purse is in a police station. Finn says that he kept Patrick because it was wrapped like a gift and he will bring it at the hospital" and puts the phone in the pocket again.

"Okay. Thanks for the input, it was accurate. I wish you were my doctor instead of the curly haired man".

"Schuester isn't that bad, give him some time".

"If you say so…" And then her phone beeps again, I hope this time isn't this Finn guy telling her what grocery store I used to go.

"I have to go now but if you need anything just press the red button" she said mimicking the voice of a hostess from TV, like she previously did. "Goodnight" and she left the room.

I have more questions but they can wait until tomorrow. After a while a nurse brings me the painkillers and then I pick up the book and start to read. After a few chapters the tiredness starts to bite and I decided to get some sleep.

I don't know what time is it; I woke up because of sunlight coming through my window. I slowly opened my eyes trying to adjust to the light. When I full opened my eyes completely I can see that besides the bed is a toddler sitting on a chair, staring at me. He shouldn't have more than two years maybe three, his hair and eyes are dark brown. He wears a black short trousers and shirt from Slytherin with a pair of green converse.

"Hello there" I said and smiled him, because I don't know what to do.

"Hi" He shyly said.

The kid makes a funny face, gets off the chair, pushes the auxiliary table, where my breakfast is waiting, towards me and then comes back up on the chair. The breakfast looks pretty decent but honestly I had betters. Santana focus, the kid still is in the room and stares at me. Yeah the kid, so has to be lost or something.

"Are you lost? I can call the nurse if you don't know how to find your parents"

"You are funny, mum!"

"WHAT!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: **

The toddler is still looking at me with his big dark eyes, but I would swear, for a bit he had a mischievous smirk. I'm seriously thinking about don't sleep again, every time I woke up something weird happened. I'm shaking my head from side to side, no and ten thousand times no, I don't have a kid, no way.

"No" it's the only thing I can properly say.

He looks at me with an unreadable expression; yeah, that's right, I can't read the face from a little kid and because of that I can't really see myself with children, at least not now. This is weird with 25 years I don't want kids… I mean, with 25 I didn't want kids but myself from three years later…. maybe could want kids? I don't think so! Well, I really don't know...

"I'm not your mum" I clear my throat "I can't be…." I said in whisper.

What thing could make change my own mind? I don't hate kids or anything but I can't even take care of myself how I could take care of a kid! Fuck it! I need some answers right now and I hope Berry has the same phone number. I grabbed the phone on the table and start dialing the number I knew since college.

One beep, nothing. Berry; for God's sake pick up the phone! Another beep, come on unlock the phone, push the green button and answer me! The little boy is running around the room in his own world and sometimes looks at me. Another beep and I was sent straight to voicemail.

"Damn you Berry! Why? I need a friend right now! I really needed" I screamed at the phone.

"You are funny" The kid said from the other side of the room.

"This is Rachel Berry's voicemail" I heard Rachel's voice and rolled my eyes at her usually antics "Right now I'm fully committed to rehearsal and my phone probably would be a few days off, when I finish my duties, undoubtedly I will call you back". What? I cut the call. Why is Berry rehearsing? As far as I know she was a History teacher and then click it in my head, sure she finally took charge over the glee club. Berry and I, well, Rachel and I have been friends since college, she's the kind of friend who was a constant in my life, well she was? She is? I hope she still is.

The boy comes next to me and grabs a cookie from my breakfast and walks around the room again. I guess that's what kids normally do. I sighed at the phone and redialed Berry's number. The call goes straight to voicemail.

"Berry just for your information you had one job, which was answer the phone and you failed" and I cut the call.

I'm looking to the boy the whole time trying to find any Lopez semblance on his face, but I always miserably failed in such thing like guessing people's age or trying to say if a baby is a boy or girl, is just like I'm blind. And now that I look thoroughly, the boy he may look older than I thought perhaps he could have even four or five years. Anyways that doesn't matter because I perfectly could have adopted him because I can't imagine myself knocked up by some random guy since I like women very much. After a couple minutes of running the kid suddenly stops and looks me straight in the eyes.

"Mum" he says slowly and laughed.

But this time I saw it, for a brief moment, the mischievous smirk all over his face, he is amused. The boy is pretty reckless, but I can't help but laugh along with him.

"What's your name?"

I had to admit he has some nerve trying to fool an adult because he's only joking around I can see it now, and maybe, just maybe, I'm a little bit disappointed that the kid is not my son.

"Jake Puckerman" he answers nonchalantly and after realizing what he just said puts both hands over his mouth.

At the same time I heard some voices arguing in the hall "What were you thinking! If she has another panic attack I'll kill you! Well, I can't kill you if she kills you first" I think the voice belongs to Mike and another voice answers "It's just a joke!" within seconds Mike and another man entered in the room.

"Santana, he's not your son!" Mike blurted quickly.

"Relax, I know. A kid can't trick me so easily" well, he doesn't need to know that I almost fell for the lie.

"If you say so, but when he called you mum you should have seen your face, pure panic" says the unnamed guy laughing "Your face was white as hospitals' sheets" He and Jake high-five.

Damn asshole! Who does he think he is, making fun of me? I will tell him who is he, the king of anything!

"So you think the allegories by yourself or have you a poetry book? Because if you have a book, my advice is that you need buy another one" I snapped.

The man stopped laughing and put a thoughtful face, I think he is not the Einstein around here. Mike is still quiet, watching our exchange of words. One moment, now I can properly see the man is leaning on two crutches because his right leg is cast!

"It was just a joke!" Mike said "Puck is not a twat, just have a weird sense of humor".

I don't care about the prank, in fact is kind of funny because I really freaked out, but I can't stand people mocking me.

"Apologize!" Jake says and pulls the sweatpants of the guy to get his attention.

"It's just a joke! She is the one who has to apologize, she was rude to me. I'm your big brother you have to take my side" The guy answered and Jake makes a pout, "Okay! Okay, you win this time" And then he looks at me "Listen, it was a lame prank, but the kid was bored, don't worry it won't happen again. By the way this is my little brother Jake and I'm Puck from…"

"Room 203" I cut him.

"You already know me, interesting".

"Yeah I heard that you're clumsy!".

Jake and Puck are brothers but I would have bet on Puck being Jake's father, I mean the age difference between them is pretty huge and Puck looks just like my age or even older, and he could have been the typical football player who knocked up the head cheerleader during high school.

"Is in here where all the people missing went, huh?" Quinn walked into the room "You throw a party without me! Shame on you!" She looks at Puck "You forget your traumatology appointment, again!" She complained.

"It's true! Come on Jake, we need to leave" Puck said.

Jake, Puck and Quinn are leaving the room but I can hear Jake saying "I like her, she makes funny faces" Mike heard it too and smiles at me.

"I have to go, but I will come later to pick the plate when you finished the breakfast" Mike left the room.

I breathe relief. Finally I'm alone and I took my coffee and drink a few sips. I lost in thoughts again, without the memories of the previous years I need to put myself together to avoid future misunderstandings. Berry why aren't you calling me back? You're my freaking backup!

The rest of the day had been normal, I really glad that there is no more unexpected child, accidents or injuries. I was bored because no one visits, my phone and my laptop broke at the accident and the fact I only had memories about living in New York it's not helping, so for the moment I'm on my own in Boston. I decided to spend the afternoon with Puck and Jake. First we played Mario Kart with their Nintendo 3ds and after that we saw The Lion King in Puck's laptop.

I slowly stretch my arms in the bed with my eyes still closed; another day at the hospital is beginning. I had a dream, I was at the roof top from a building at night I was looking at the city's lights, it was amazing, just seemed so real. I wonder if this place is real or I just made it up or maybe I was in there sometime but I don't remember. I slowly opened my eyes trying to adjust to the sunlight that is coming through the window as usual. When I full opened them I saw a blue eyes staring at me and I suddenly stop my movements and just look at her, so it's official I'm not going to sleep anymore.

"I was so… We were so worried about you!" She said while she hugs me tight.

"Ouch!" I complained because of the bruise in my chest still hurts.

"Oh! Sorry I didn't want to hurt you!".

I'm speechless, still without moving any muscles of my body and only looking at her. The woman is beautiful. She has long blonde hair in ponytail with very pretty blue eyes. In fact, maybe is not that bad waking like this...

"But don't you dare to scare me this way again!" She lightly punches my forearm.

I still quiet and only staring at her.

"San, can you stop staring at me like if you had never seen me before? She laughed "You lost your memory or what!" She said nonchalantly and laughed again.

"The last 3 years of my life have been erased" She seems surprised, maybe she didn't talk with Schuester "So this is weird for me since you seem so familiar with me but I don't remember you".

"What's the last you remember?"

"So that you can get an idea, after I woke up I thought I was 25 and still living in New York".

Her mouth makes an o shape and she seems a little torn for a moment, but then she shakes her head.

"Shall we start at the beginning then?" She scrunches her face and lets out an adorable laugh "Hi! I'm Brittany" And we shake hands.

"I'm Santana but you already knew it!" She shrugs and nods we both laugh.

"Santana" She said "I'm a little thirsty so I'm going to grab something to drink, and we can talk, if you want, of course".

"Of course I want! I need to know about my life in here".

"I'll be back in no time" She said and left the room.

I can't help but notice that this time she called me Santana instead of San. Oh my god now that I think about I probably have an awful look, unkempt and maybe with some morning breath. I stood from the bed and made my way towards the bathroom to wash my teeth and brush my hair. I'm thrilled about to finally know stuff about Boston, Well truth be told more than thrilled I'm curious. When I get out of the bathroom I can see a glimpse of blonde hair going through the door but isn't the blonde I was expecting. Another blonde with hazel eyes just appeared.

"Come here so I can kiss this sexy face of yours" she says while she walks next to me.

When she trying to kiss I make a step back because she hit the bruise on my chest just like Brittany did.

"Ouch" I complained.

"I'm so sorry!" She was trying to kiss me again but I turned my face. And then I heard someone coughing.

"What's going on?" Brittany said.

"Please don't disturb us".

"I'm visiting Santana".

"And you are…?" The new blonde asked.

"Her girlfriend" the blue eyed blonde said as she makes a step forward to enter the room.

Wait a moment she just said girlfriend? My eyes wide open at her statement. I make another step back from the new blonde to slightly increase the distance between us. Am I her girlfriend? Not a girl who's a friend of mine, like girlfriend girlfriend, like a couple? A little smile crossed my face. I mean she's gorgeous and all but I can't remember anything about her, it's a weird feeling. Besides, I have a doubt if the woman who is in front of me is my girlfriend why another woman was about to kiss me on the lips a few seconds ago.

"I don't know what bullshit are you talking about! But this hot mess over here" She grabbed by my waist to put me close to her "Is my G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D!".

"WHAT!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

The two blondes started to argue but I'm not really listening anymore. I need to get out of this room and started walking towards the door and someone try to tried to stop me, I snapped "Don't touch me, I'm leaving" and without looking behind I left the room. I'm going to the waiting room in this floor, because I don't know where else to go and the people that are already in there don't stop looking at me. Hello, this is a hospital why are you surprised to see a patient walking around here.

After 30 minutes I realized that I can't stay in here forever, is the easiest place to be found, plus I don't have any money to buy a coffee, hot chocolate or food and I'm starving. Why I can never eat my breakfast quietly? If every time I wake up there is going to be something that will disturb me, I believe that I won't sleep again.

I still don't understand the earlier situation; I was surprised when I heard that I had one girlfriend because I think that I'm still young to settle down, but having two girlfriends instead of one, no way in hell, it's a scary thing! This might be the cause of an early death and right now I like better Jake being my son than having two girlfriends.

Yeah that's right, I would prefer yesterday's prank instead…. One moment I have the same weird feeling like yesterday… Because at the bottom of my heart I knew that I couldn't have a child so soon. One moment... I stood up and started to walk and when finally I arrived I don't even bother to knock on the door.

"What's up?" Puck raised his eyes from the laptop "Jake is coming, do you want hang out with us again?"

"Mmm… Let me think" I put my left hand around my chin pretending that I'm thinking harder about the question, "I can't" I told him.

"Why?" He asked nonchalantly while he drinks his coffee and looks at the computer screen "Jake is dying to show you his drawings."

"Thanks to your kindness" I went over to him "I have not one, but two freaking girlfriends waiting for me in my room!" And I punched his arm.

"W-h-a-t!" he almost spits his drink.

"Two blondes on my room, both telling me that they are my girlfriend."

"Two blondes…" He seems lost on his thoughts with a dork smile on his face.

"Don't play dumb with me, Puckerman!"

"Unbelievable" Puck shakes his head "And I almost died trying to get the attention from one woman."

"Listen to me, you fool me once shame on you, you fool me twice shame on me!"

"Two girlfriends! That's badass but is not cool too…. But that's badass but isn't cool with the ladies" He entered in a loop in his own mind "No, no, definitely is not cool."

"End the prank right now or I'm going to strangle you with my free arm."

"If you are a cheater and the girls catch your lies it's not my fault!" He exclaimed "Besides I'll not waste my time looking for girlfriends to you instead of me"

Damn! His logic is crushing! I'm in trouble and no one else is to blame but me? Why me? My eyes widened at the mention of me being a cheater. Truth I'm not an angel but neither a cheater and when I was about to kick Puck's cast leg and say my two cent about that topic Jake knocked on the door with his nanny behind him. Once Jake came to the room the nanny waved goodbye to us and went away.

"I strongly disagree with your point of view" I point with my finger to him to avoid cursing in front of the kid "I'm not a cheater, you asshole!" I said almost in a whisper because I can't help myself sometimes.

"Hello San!" Jake screamed.

Today the kid was wearing a pair of red converse, a blue trousers and a funny t-shirt with a Spiderman's picture, who is standing on a chair because he's afraid of a spider. I have to admit that if it's Puck who chose Jake's clothes he has some good taste. Jake jumps on me and I get him on the fly but 0,5 seconds later I really regret it because I feel the pain in my chest again. But this time is a little bit different is like the pain isn't only in the outside because the bruise but in the inside too, like something is broken.

"Hello buddy!" I whispered because of the pain in chest I'm breathless.

"Look at the picture I drawed!" he handle me the drawing and goes with Puck.

"Drew" Puck corrects Jake while kiss on the top of his head.

"Ohh is nice!"

"Yeah my boy is an artist!" Puck says proudly "By the way, what will you do with your girlfriends? Because if they are cool enough you can try a three…"

"Stop right there! Jake is in the room!" I don't want hear the end of the sentence "So are you telling me that you don't have anything to do with them?"

"No it's your entire fault" He said smirking, "But I need to say that I wish I was, because your face is priceless! You can try to make a joke to ease the tension when you come back with them."

"Not helping. I'm out of here!"

I left a room today for the second time, I'm on fire. So now I'll have to deal by myself with two angry women. After another 15 minutes walking around the hospital I decided to come back to my room. I need to deal with this situation so the sooner the better.

When I came in the room again I can see Brittany sitting on the sofa reading a magazine and the other blonde doing the same thing, but in the chair that is in the other side of the room, both raised their heads when they realized that someone else is in the room. I make my way to my bed. The unnamed blonde stood up and came next to me.

"She told me that you don't remember anything, is that true? You don't remember me?"

"Brittany is telling the truth."

"I'm kitty, as your girlfriend Kitty!" Her voice sounds a little offended.

"It's nothing personal" She puts a lock of my hair behind my ear and I froze, "I can't remember anything that happened in the last three years."

"So why you don't remember my name but you remember hers?"

"I told her before, she didn't remember it, if that makes you feel better" Brittany interjects still sitting on the sofa.

"No, not really" Kitty snapped.

Then there was awkward silence in the room. We're looking at each other but nobody says anything.

"So if no one is going to talk about the elephant in the room, I'll do it" The blue eyed woman gets up and starts to speak, "Why Kitty thinks is your girlfriend?" She was looking straight in the eye but she doesn't look angry but insecure.

"Because I am."

"Thanks for the input but she's not talking to you. I don't know" I answered. "I meant I don't even know I started to date women. I was in the closet back then" After seeing the shock in their faces I have to do a note to self, ignore Puck's ideas.

"Are you kidding right?"

"Yes Kitty" I stifled a laugh "Trying to enlighten the mood."

"You and your weird sense of humor" Brittany said shaking her head.

"So let me get this clear, in this room you have two girlfriends, it makes you a cheater and you don't even try to deny it and you think that this moment is appropriate for jokes!" Kitty is pretty angry.

Yeah, Puck's ideas aren't good.

"I don't know what is going, okay" I look both of them "But I'm not a cheater! The conclusion is that one of you is lying."

"That's right because that's the dream of every woman is faking that they're dating Santana Lopez. The accident not only made you lose your memories but also you lost the functionality on your brain" kitty says.

"I can't remember anything!" I raise my hands in defeat, I'm tired of not remember my life and only been a few days since I woke up.

"That doesn't make you less guilty!" Brittany adds.

"That's not fair!"

"Life is not fair! You pretentious bitch, cheating on me, I hope you burn in hell!" She slaps me on my face.

Brittany came next to us too, and I put my hands up to avoid more slaps.

"I don't like violence so I won't slap you but you really deserve it and I'm equally upset."

And the two blondes went away, leaving behind a hurting face, my hurting face, and myself more confused than I was before, I can't believe I'm a cheater. After a few seconds that Kitty and Brittany left the room I realize that a blonde male nurse with huge lips is standing in the hall watching the whole scene because the door of my room is wide open, I think that his name is Sam; he's looking at me with a face between amused and confused, but mostly amused.

"The last time I saw such big mouth I was watching Jaws!" He stops laughing "What are you waiting?! Look alive!"

From now I forbid blonde people in my life they are evil, maybe Quinn will be the exception I think she's good. So yesterday I had a fake son, today I have two girlfriends I'm thrilled thinking what I will find out about myself when I wake up tomorrow morning. The possibilities are endless: I won the jack pot, I discovered the cure of a disease, I'm a super heroine or much better I'm Luke's father instead of Darth Vader.

I'm reading the book that Quinn/Mike gave me to distract myself from all the things are going on my mind. Then the phone rang.

"Santana Lopez! How dare you! You called and said all those mean things to me, because you know better than anyone that I never failed in anything in my whole life and I'm certainly not going to start now! Then you hung up without bothering to leave the hospital's name or a number to call you back since you phone is off."

Finally she shuts up; I was starting to think that in these years that I can't remember she found a way to talk without actually breathing.

"Listen…"

"Don't you dare to cut me off while I'm scolding you!" She clears her throat "Thankfully the police left me a message as well, with the number of the hospital, by the way I'm glad I'm still your emergency contact despite the current distance between us, I mean the geographical distance, I know that Boston is not that far but still and for your information Jesse and you are my emergency contacts."

"Are you done?"

"No, I'm not. How are you?"

"Look who finally gives a fuck about my health!" I heard her giggling "I'm fine, mostly glad about being alive."

"Doctor Schuester said that you didn't remember anything about the last three years, seems impossible…. How do you feel?"

"I don't know, sometimes I have anxiety issues because I can't understand why I'm not capable remember anything, I'm trying to get used at the new situation but most of the time I can't stop thinking about it.

"Look at the bright side…!"

"I know, I know. By the way I need your help to catch up with my own life."

"Definitely."

Talking with Rachel feel so good, like old times I'm really glad that nothing has changed between us.

"Am I dying to come back to New York, right?"

"Yes, you can't live without me."

"I'm serious!"

"Me too, I know you miss me though you'll not admit it out loud! But truth be told and in your own words Boston is not that bad."

We're talking about everything, but right now I'm trying to gather the courage to ask about the one thing I really want to know.

"Rachel…"

Because doesn't matter the answer to this question I probably won't hear the end of it.

"You said Rachel? What's going on?"

"Do I have a girlfriend?"

"What…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

"What kind of question is this?"

"The kind that needs an answer." Now is the time she chooses to stay quiet, that's my dear friend Rachel, "Now would be fine, but take your time" I said ironically.

"Santana you always had been so hermetic about that topic. In university you only talked about feelings and stuff like that when we were drunk and now look at the situation, you only are asking because you lost your memory."

Yeah that sounds awfully like me; I don't like talking about my feelings because I don't like to feel exposed.

"You mean that you don't know if I have a girlfriend?"

"No, as far as my knowledge arrives you are single, but if you have a girlfriend I bet she's blonde. You always had a thing for them! And of course I must meet her!"

"Blondes…" And I put my hand on the cheek where Kitty slapped me.

"What do you mean with blondes?"

I explained to Rachel the whole story.

"Which one is lying?" She asked.

"What did you say?"

"Which one is lying and most important, why? Well, I don't understand why someone would lie about that, but anyways… You don't need any stalker in your life. My advice, put distance between them and yourself if you can't say who's telling the truth. You need stay away from crazy people."

"Don't you think I'm a cheater?"

"You have quite flaws but cheating isn't one of them."

"Your opinion doesn't matter."

"Well, I love you too!" Rachel says pretending to be offended.

"People can change and what I'm saying is that you are my friend and because of that you are biased about me."

"Of course I'm biased but not naïve and unlike you, I remember the previous three years."

"In fact, there's no need to worry because I don't think I will see them again!"

"Besides if you were dating two women I'm sure that you weren't be able to hide it from me."

"That's right!" We laughed.

"I have to go back to work, but Jesse and I will be going to Boston on Friday. Behave yourself meanwhile! Goodbye."

"See you soon!"

A couple of hours went by and now Quinn is in the room, taking care of my stitches. She's acting a little weird, barely talking to me like she's holding her laughter or something like that. Once she finished with scratches, finally spoke.

"Do you need something? Some slap… Snack, I mean snack!" She burst out laughing.

"Seriously" I shake my head in disbelief.

"You need energy to hit life again!" She still laughs. "Because you have to roll with the punches."

"Stop it!"

"They say that a kiss with a fist is better than none!"

"There wasn't even a kiss, genius" I complained.

"Oh!" She feigns sadness "My bad!"

"Do you think that you are making witty comments, don't you? Is too soon for jokes!" I'm changing my mind, I'll ban Quinn too.

"Never is too soon for jokes!" She says while leaves the room.

"I hate you Quinn Fabray!" I said out loud hoping that she would listen.

The days flew without any other remarkable incident. I have been hanging with Puck and Jake, chatting with Mike, Quinn and the others nurses. Rachel and Jesse called almost every day, but today is already Friday noon and I was waiting to see them.

"Look who I found!" Mike said suddenly opening the door of my room.

"Hello there!" Rachel poked her head trough the door.

"Berry!"

I stood up from the bed in no time and we hug each other tight for a while and I'm so happy, I think that Mike excused himself to give us some privacy. Rachel looks almost like I remembered her, with a different hairstyle but she's pretty much the same Rachel Barbra Berry.

"What happened to you? You look old, Berry." Mocking her is one of my favorite hobbies.

"You wish! And you are who looks terrible."

"I look so perfect that I thought that I still had 25 years when I woke up!"

We sat on the couch.

"Where is Jesse?"

"Calling his parents."

"How are you feeling? Still struggling?"

"Yes, baby steps but I can't complain."

"As stubborn you are I'm sure that you would achieve it."

"And my cast arm itches!" I make a pout.

"And, how are you?"

"Like I told you life is pretty good."

Then was a light knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" I heard the unmistakable pitch of Jesse's voice.

"Of course" Rachel answered quickly and suddenly gets up.

"Hello everybody" Jesse whispers while Rachel opens the door slowly.

Jesse appeared with… Oh my god… Jesse is cradling a little boy! I can't believe it, they are parents! I look between the kid and the proud parents. Rachel and Jesse have such large smiles on their faces.

"I'm Jonah St. James. I'm almost one year old, I'm telling you because I know you still can't guess kids age" Jesse mimicked a child's voice and is waving the little baby boy's hand.

He gives me the kid to hold him. The tiny one totally looks like a mini Jesse but the nose screams Berry family out loud. Jonah just yawned and I can say he's the world's cutest boy.

"Jonah nice to meet you, again." I said smiling bashfully and tickling him on his tummy.

"Do you really think that people can change?"

"It's not the time to start a debate, Rachel."

"I want to show you something" She walks towards me, "They say that at least we make the same mistake twice in our life because those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, but thanks to you I believe that the good stuff we do it as well."

She shows me two pictures; the first photo is one where I was holding a newborn Jonah in my arms and then second is a picture in her phone that she took minutes ago. The look on my face is the same, full of joy and with an adoring smile in my lips.

"The first time you saw Jonah you were pretty amazed and I thought that letting this moment happen again would be wonderful" Rachel said while caress the nose of his son.

"Nicely done, but you totally did this to make a point about how people don't change."

Jesse laughed and put his hand to block his laugh because he knows that I'm right.

"I like kill two birds with one stone." Berry affirmed.

Finally! I'm done with this ugly hospital gown that doesn't make me justice at all because Rachel brought me some of my clothes, she explained that I rented my place in New York but I left part of my stuff in her house.

Jesse had to go my place to drop their luggage and to set up the Jonah's stuff I have in there, like his crib. Luckily they have a spare key to my house, since I still don't have my belongings and I don't remember where I live, meanwhile Rachel is talking with Schuester about my hospital discharge. I'm feeling pretty good and since my memories come back when my brain decides, there no reason to be in here any longer, maybe in a week I'll leave the hospital.

When Rachel will have finished the talk with the doc', she will go to my place as well, taking Jonah with her because the little boy need to rest. But until she finishes I'm on my own with Jonah. I sit him in the bed and we play with his toys. Someone was knocking on the door.

"That's flash news, your mum knocking on doors!" I blow a raspberry on baby's stomach and Jonah giggles. "Seeing is believing! What are you waiting for, Berry come in! As if you knock on doors before." I still making raspberry on Jonah's belly and he continues laughing.

"Sorry, were you expecting someone?" Brittany asks and I stood up. I think that she realizes that I'm wearing daily basis clothes. "Are you leaving?"

"I thought…" She cut me off.

"Is it Jonah?" She quickly walks next to us.

"Wait, do you know him?"

"Of course, you always show me photos and talk about him, better said bragging about him! And we always finish fig…." She suddenly shuts up when Jonah grab her finger with his little hand. "Hey buddy!" She picks him from the bed and holds him. "I'm Brittany."

Finish what? Damn! I'm looking at both, Jonah and Brittany are smiling and she's making a fool of herself only to make him laugh. He's super cute, well she's cute too. I'm surprised that Jonah isn't crying. Don't get me wrong, when I was a little kid when someone I didn't know was holding me I didn't like and I used to scream.

"What are you doing here?" I spoke after realizing that I was staring too much. "After what happened I thought I would never see you again."

"I just want to know how are you; after all you were in a car accident, and the other day… I couldn't even ask you."

"I'm good, you're a thoughtful person" The second part came more like a whisper and I blush a little. "You… Ehh… Would… You'd like to stay for a while? Jonah seems enjoy your company."

I know is not right to use Jonah as an excuse but is for a greater good, I want to talk with her and this seems the less pathetic way to make it happen.

"Yes, I would like to."

We sat on the sofa with Jonah between us while we play with him we are talking. I'm eager to know anything about my life in Boston and about her, because if a person came back to check on me after the weird mess that happened, this person is worth it to know, again.

Brittany explains that I've been living in Boston almost a year and a half, I moved because of my work. Rachel already told me about this but I wasn't going to interrupt the blonde. We know each other because we have a mutual friend, Artie Abrams and we work in the same building.

"The police called your work to alert about the accident but Artie is in a business trip in Washington so he decided to tell me about what happened." She explained.

Artie and I went the same university in New York but he got a job in a different place and had to move out. Now that I remembered the job was in Boston.

We talk about trivial things and old stories from college and we are just having fun. Well at least I'm having fun; I hope she does it too.

Jonah is so tired that he falls asleep and I put him in his baby trolley. We still sitting on the sofa but now there is nothing between us, we are facing each other. Nobody mentions anything about girlfriends/cheater topic, I'm sure that I won't bring it up but I'm glad she didn't do it either.

"And we were up all night trying to get lucky." My stomach is hurting from all the laughing.

"You guys were always getting into trouble."

"One moment! Now I realized that all stories I told you about Artie and me maybe I explained them before, didn't I?"

"Some were new." Brittany scratches her nose.

"You are a terrible liar!"

"No they weren't new.

"I can't believe it. Epic fail! You could have said it earlier!"

We still talking but now we are talking about cooking. I'm pretty good in the kitchen; thanks to me Rachel didn't starve herself until death in our university days and I taught her some recipes.

"You are always making sarcastic remarks about my cooking!" Brittany complained. "Like, the fish tastes so awful that seems that is still alive!" A giggle escaped from my mouth.

"You have to recognize that the joke was a good one."

I really like the fact that seems we are pretty good friends.

"You even hadn't tasted the fish when you said it!"

"If I was so mean, why you still cooking for me?"

"To prove you wrong! I don't give up easily." She said matter of factly.

I think I like her and I without thinking twice I leaned my body towards her, closing the gap between our lips and I kiss her. Then there was silence where I could only hear my heart beating a little bit faster and our lips remain together almost 10 seconds.

When our lips parted I was the one who opened the eyes first, our noses still touching. I can see her with the eyes still closed and a little blush is creeping across her cheeks. She's smiling but tries to hide it biting her lip.

"Why did you do that?" She shyly asks while opens slowly her eyes.

"I don't know…" I shrug "I just did it." I'm still looking at her and now she is looking straight in my eyes and seems…. Disappointed?

"Don't do it again, until you know what you are doing Santana." She suddenly gets up.

"What!?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

Brittany is now in the other side of the room, a weird look on her face and arms crossed into her chest, but she doesn't move. I mean, when people are offended usually they leave the place, or maybe is just a Rachel and Jesse's thing with all the storming out the room when they are mad? I don't know. So I kissed her, but I think she's overreacting, there's no need to be so fucking serious. When I was about to tell her that nobody dies from a kiss the door suddenly opens.

"Where is my little munchkin? And of course, where is Jonah…." Rachel said and she stepped in the room she saw Brittany. "Sorry I didn't know you had company."

"You'd know if you knock at doors in some point in your life" I snapped.

She ignores my remark and introduced herself.

"Rachel Berry."

"Brittany Pierce, nice to meet you."

They shake hands. Rachel frowns like Brittany's name seems familiar to her, now I know she's thinking about it and looks at me. I look back at her, with my eyes trying to say: yes, she is one of the girlfriends I told you previously, don't do or say anything that can make the situation more awkward and as if she could read my mind.

"She's the one who hit you!" Rachel said looking between the blonde and me.

I put my hands in front of my face, sometimes I just want to put tape in her mouth to stop her from talking ever again. Brittany is still in silence, probably thinking a way to leave the room without being rude.

"No, I don't like violence" The blonde explains.

"Oh, sorry" Is the only thing Rachel answered. "By the way I saw a blonde nurse in the hall and she gave me this for you." Rachel changed the subject "She said that Finn or Frank brought this for you, was in your car and kind of survived."

"Oh that's right!" I pick the bag "It's a Patrick Star plush, I didn't know why I bought it when Quinn was telling me, but now I think I bought it for Jonah."

I see Rachel and Brittany smiling at me. Well, Brittany was trying to hide it again biting her lip and I give it the teddy back to Rachel.

"That's sweet Santana, but you didn't buy this for Jonah. You bought a Bob Sponge for him. This one…" The brunette pointed to Patrick, "You will have to find out why you bought it."

I pick Patrick again and when I look at Brittany is still smiling a little bit but seems kind of lost on her world. The door opens again, nobody knows knocking on doors anymore?

"Hello there!"

"Puck doesn't seem they gave you the medical discharge, you're always in here!"

"I have to go to rehab for my leg and I thought to say hi to my new friend."

"I already told you, we're not friends!"

"You don't remember the friends you had in here, so if you still consider them friends, I can be one too!"

"I probably don't have many friends in here."

"Well, now you have one"

"Lucky me… " I pretend happiness, "But if you are going to be my friend the mohawk has to be gone."

And then I remembered there are other people in the room.

"Puck this are Rachel my friend of New York and Brittany, my… she's…" I don't know how to end this sentence.

"Noah and I already met" Rachel came to rescue me "He was talking with the receptionist and when I asked for indications to arrive to your room, he explained to me."

"That's me, always a good man."

"You're so full of it, Puckerman."

We're talking for a while, Puck bragging about Jake, Rachel and myself bragging about Jonah, I'm mostly agreeing with all the things Rachel says about her son, even Brittany talks about her nephew Marley, seems that her little anger was dissolved.

There is a knock on the door, probably is a nurse they are the only who still knocks on my door.

"How are you? The most beautiful woman in the world needs anything?" Kitty says while enters in the room with a bouquet of flowers that cover her face completely.

"I'm fine, but who are you?" Rachel comments.

"Santana?" Kitty asks confused.

"Yes, you aren't in the wrong room." Is the only I said.

I have a feeling this will not end well, Kitty puts the bouquet on a little table near to the door and sees I'm not alone in the room. In fact, I believe she's in shock, realizing that there are three people and a baby in the room and then, Kitty recognizes Brittany.

"What are you doing here?" The newcomer asks.

"I'm visiting Santana" Brittany says nonchalantly.

"I can tell, but why? We agreed don't see her again the last time we talk"

"You said, I didn't say anything. I just wanted to go home. Besides there's nonsense, you were who said that and you are in here too, Kitty."

"I thought you'd be smart enough to leave us alone, but now I can see you are dumb as fuck!"

"Please ladies, there's no need to be rude with each other" Rachel tried to calm the atmosphere.

Kitty omits Rachel's comment and they start to fight, verbally, unfortunately for Puck's fantasies. Truth be told, is more like Kitty screaming and Brittany freaking out about the whole thing. Mike appeared on the door with a serious look on his face.

"Everyone except Rachel have to leave the room. Stop fighting this is a hospital" Mike says politely "Puck you too."

"But I did nothing wrong" He make a dramatic pause, "This time!" He's smirking.

"Go away" Mike repeat again.

"Anyways I have to pick Jake; Santana the kid wants to see you perhaps we'll come on Sunday."

Puck left the room first waving goodbye, Brittany and Kitty started walking and they leave the room as well. The hazel eyed glaring at Mike and whispering something like I'm not giving up and the other blonde saying a quick goodbye.

Finally, Rachel and I are alone again. She is about talk but I cut her.

"Can we talk about something else?"

And the topic of the conversation was changed.

"I'm thinking about call him JJ."

"Or you just can call him Jonah" I believe that Rachel clenched her fist and curses between whispers but says, "It's a beautiful name."

In this moment, blurriness appears in my head and then…. Something came to my mind.

_I'm sitting in a sofa with Rachel at my side. Jesse cradles a baby Jonah, slowly walks in the living room while is humming a song._

"_I'm thinking about calling him JJ." _

"_Or you can forget about the nicknames and just call him by his name, Jonah is beautiful name with a Hebrew origin and the meaning is dove …"_

"_I'm sure that you will never guess which of us chose the name" Jesse laughs. _

"_Also means peace" Rachel finished her previous sentence and glares to Jesse._

"_But this way when I get mad, I'll call him Jonah and he would know he's in trouble." _

_I get up from the sofa with a dopey smile and walk towards Jesse, he gave me the baby and took my previous spot in the sofa putting an arm around Rachel's shoulder. _

"_Santana we would like if you think about becoming Jonah's legal guardian." The brunette said seriously "If you want." _

"_I know nothing about babies!"_

"_Rachel and you are taking care of each other since university" Jesse spoke, "For us, you are the natural choice."_

"_And if something happen to us, Jesse and me would be happy that you look after our first-born son, we want someone who really loves our kid." _

"_We would happy, death but at least glad." Jesse spoke again. _

"_Ok." _

"_That's all? No sarcastic comments?" Rachel asks. _

"_There isn't sarcastic comments, but do me a favor?"_

"_Anything" Rachel told me. _

"_Don't die."_

"_Deal" Jesse and Rachel said at the same time._

A dorky smile appeared on my face and Rachel noticed.

"Why you never listen to me Santana!" She complained "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing, I'm glad you came."

Shortly after, she left with Jonah and go home to rest.

This morning I wanted to talk with Schuester and I'm surprised that the poor man works and Saturdays too. I'm explaining to him that I remembered something, probably this may not mean anything but dreaming is free, otherwise, I'd be ruined.

"But this is a good thing, right? I remembered something, a matter of time that other memories come back."

"Santana in this situation there is no recovery standard, maybe you can remember something else or maybe you can't, it's all up to your brain."

"Always a pleasure talking with you, Doctor Schuester" I get up from the chair, "That was sarcasm" I left the room.

When I arrived to my room I stop in the door frame, Puck and Rachel are in there again, sitting in the sofa and chatting animatedly. They are so busy that didn't notice I'm back, this can't be good. Both are looking at paper sheet.

"The answer of number 6 is" Rachel spoke "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

When I heard Rachel's sentence I have no choice but join their little chat.

"What is going on here?"

I pick the piece of paper from Puck's hands and I can't believe what I saw.

**If you are Santana's girlfriend you should know how to answer these questions****:**

**1)Birthday.**

**2)She has siblings?**

**3)Name three friends.**

**4)What's her job?**

**5)Favorite color, movie, song and food. **

**6)Motto in her life.**

**7)Guilty pleasures. **

**8)How you two met?**

**9)First date, kiss and intercourse.**

**10) When is your anniversary?**

"From whom is the great idea?" I shook my head and started to laugh. I'm laughing just to keep from crying, or rather killing someone.

Puck grins and when was about to raise his hand, Rachel elbows him on the ribs in a lame attempt to make the man realize that I'm not amused at all.

"Are you fucking kidding me, right?" I screamed and almost hit him, but I stop at the last moment "THIS IS INSANE!"

"But… " Puck tries to start talking.

"Shut up. I'm not finish!

And then I notice a second piece of paper.

**Bets:**

**Rachel: Kitty**

**Jesse:**

**Mike: Brittany**

**Mercedes:**

**Quinn: Brittany**

**Sam:**

**Puck: Kitty**

*Santana can't participate in the betting, wouldn't be fair to other players, altering their chances to win.*

The guy is making bets too! Seeing is believing.

"What exactly you were thinking?" I said as I look the bets. Puck was about to talk. "Honestly, I don't care. And you…" I said looking at Rachel "I think you've actually gotten less smart since college, Berry! You are a mum now, which means that you can't do dumb things anymore!"

"20 bucks for bet, one bet for person, anyone can participate except you and is allowed change the bet until next Thursday. Sam and Mercedes are still thinking about, they need at least see 'the girlfriends' one more time to make their choice" Puck explains.

"You realize how weird this is? You barely know me!"

"That's why I asked for help!" Puck points towards Rachel.

"It's not what I mean."

"Noah is trying to help you!" Rachel says and I'm about to answer back but she raises her hand "In his own way, but is trying to do a good thing."

"Seriously, he's asking about the first intercourse?"

"That question is from Rachel!" Puck says raising his hands.

"Berry?" I said incredulously.

"Noah you are not helping" She shoots a glare to Puck and then looks back at me. "Listen, I had to say this one because you wouldn't know what he was asking in first place."

When the Massachusetts General Hospital became into a madhouse, I don't know, is like I not know anything anymore. I need to calm down. Yelling is not the solution, yelling is not the solution, yelling at them is not the solution. I'm taking a deep breath.

"Okay, we will skip the part when you both realize that the whole thing is really, really, really weird. How this actually can help me?"

"Easy, they will answer the questions and later we'll compare the answers." Puck says proudly.

"Listen…" Remember, hitting him is not the solution. "So they will answer, but how the hell we are to know who is telling the truth? We don't know the answer to the most important questions, genius!" This guy is fucking dumb "Like the first kiss, date or the anniversary!"

He puts a thoughtful frown on the face and opens his mouth to talk but quickly closes.

"The plan has some flaws, that's truth, but we can improve it" Rachel intervenes.

"We aren't improving anything, the plan is over. At least I could stop this madness before you can actually give it to them."

Rachel's eyes flicker and she looks away, realizing her mistake because I knew her so well, she quickly looks at me again like nothing happened.

"What?! No, no, no….. Tell me you didn't….!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

'What do you have to lose?' Puck's words are echoing in my head right now while I'm pacing around my room waiting for her to arrive. I'm usually the stubborn one and because of that I don't understand how Puck and Rachel managed to make agree to their plan, stupid plan, it's like they clouded my judgment. The last Saturday I was probably high because of painkillers is the only explanation I can think. I have nothing to lose, my ass! I don't like make a fool of myself because I'm a prideful person and more important I don't want to get slapped again.

I heard a 'pop', it's my new phone. Artie sent it to me in a packet with a note, he apologized for not being able to come visit me yet, but he's still in Washington because there are some troubles he needs to fix. Also said that I'm not worry about work he has everything under control.

Rachel, Jesse and Jonah had to come back to New York after the weekend. Rachel insisted on staying a couple more of days but I couldn't let her to do it.

My phone makes another 'pop'.

**Finding the girlfriend. Puck, Rachel and yourself.**

*Which one is today? – Puck

*Is she already in there? Is why you aren't answering – Puck

*Don't bother her, she probably is just feeling nervous and pacing around the room – Rachel

*Sanny old habits die hard, huh? – Rachel

*Don't call me Sanny ever again! This isn't ff!

*Ff? o_O – Puck

*Fucking funny – Rachel

*Which one do you prefer? Sure you have a favorite – Puck

*I don't have a favorite!

*I understand, both are hot ;) – Puck

*There's just something about you using emoticons that really spooks me.

*Don't lie, I'm pretty sure you at least have a little preference – Rachel

*Jesse agrees with me – Rachel

*Leave me alone!

This is the last thing I'm telling them and turned off my phone.

"I think this is weird" She frowns.

Brittany has arrived to my room like 15 minutes ago; she was acting all nervous and just speaking with monosyllables.

"And why you came?"

"A friend convinced me, because I have nothing to lose since you don't remember me" She shyly says.

"No problem."

I almost laughed; we both are the same kind of fools. I walk to the closet and put a jacket, I make sure my hospital bracelet is hidden and I pick a piece of paper and a pen. I'm going to sneak out of the hospital, I'm tired of being here and it's a shiny day I feel in the mood of walking.

"What are you doing?"

"Writing a note" I said nonchalantly.

"I can see, but why?"

"In case Mike or Quinn notice I'm gone."

"What? You can't do that!" Brittany looks at me with astonishment.

"Who cares?" And anyways, I will be discharged soon."

"You can't leave the hospital without permission Santana!"

"Look at me" I leave the room not looking back.

Fortunately I left the hospital without being noticed. I was walking without a destination and a couple blocks away I found a little park. There was a bar; I decided to stay at the terrace. The fresh air, the sun, dogs and kids playing or adults jogging around is a nice change. I ordered a glass of wine, put on my sunglasses on and just leaned back in the chair to soak up some sun, the only thing that fails in this picture is the cast on my right arm itches as hell. I'm relaxing when someone blocks me the sunlight and I raised my glasses.

"How do you find me?" I'm intrigued, "You have a girlfriend sense? Tickling you or something like that?" I laughed at my lame attempt of joke; I drank a couple glasses of white wine and maybe I'm a bit tipsy.

"You aren't answering your phone because is off" I turn on my phone. "So I've been looking around the neighborhood because someone has to take care of you since you don't seem feeling up for it, but I gave up. This park turns out to be in my way home, I saw you accidentally."

"I'm about to order some food, I'm hungry, want to join me?"

She doesn't answer but takes the chair in front of me with a smile on her face. After the meal we were walking around the park and finally lay on the grass next to a tree using our purses and jackets like pillows.

"Aren't we a little old to lie down in the grass like this?

"I usually don't care about others think; this isn't going to be an exception. Plus I look super young!"

"Then there's no problem, I look young too."

"I don't know San after a car accident, you aren't what you were."

"Like I said to Berry, I look so perfect that I thought that I still had 25 years when I woke up!"

"Delusional" She whispered but saying it loud enough for me to hear.

"Dork" I playfully hit her forearm.

After that, we're quiet for a bit. I stole a couple glances from Brittany and she has her eyes closed, maybe she was taking a nap. A nap seems a good idea and then two dogs started to fight for a branch and instead of sleep I watch them. I smile at the antics of the dogs playing around, I can't help it.

"New England Aquarium" Brittany said breaking the silence.

I almost don't hear her because I'm way too focus looking the dogs. I turned my head and saw that she was looking at me but quickly looked away. One moment was she staring at me? She even had her head ducked a little bit, so cute!

"That was our first date, I considered it but maybe you didn't, because it was like an accidentally date."

I grinned without realizing, lucky me that Brittany was so busy staring at the sky that doesn't notice. That sounds awfully like me, 'accidentally dates' are my thing and this way the rejection is less painful. Not that anyone ever rejected me but still.

"It was a Friday afternoon and I was going to the aquarium with my niece, she loves fishes, turtles, star fishes, penguins… Well, she likes every animal in there. But my car broke, so Artie offered to take me to my sister's home to pick up Marley and drive us to the aquarium. But he had work to do and he said to you if you could give us a ride instead of him and you said yes. When we arrived there, you went inside with us."

"So…" The play was smooth; I'm a genius, "Give me some details!"

"I think I'll keep them for me, after all this is my point of view."

"No fair! Since I can't remember the story I'm content with your point of view" She remains silent. "You can't explain a story and give zero details!" I say a little bit annoyed.

"Look at me" She said mimicking my previous words at the hospital. "And answering some questions; you don't have siblings and your birthday is 24 of July. You don't have a favorite color, but in your wardrobe the warm tones predominate you always say that suits you better, but I think green looks good on you too."

"It's so obvious you are fashion designer."

"To earn your forgiveness, I will say that my guilty pleasure is adventure time, I just like Finn and Jake they are so cool and cute."

"As you said before, you don't give a fuck what others think about you, so I can't believe you have guilty pleasure."

"That's right; I even wore a Jake's shirt to work." We both laughed.

I hear in the distance something like "Bram, don't!" but now I don't care anything around me as long Brittany is in here. Then a big Bernese Mountain appeared out of nowhere and almost crushes Brittany by trying to catch a tennis ball, she jumps towards me to avoid being crushed while screams, she grabs my waist tightly and I instinctively put my cast arm around her. I hear a man screaming, he must be the owner of the dog.

"Bram, stop it" A blue eyed man with a yellow hat said breathless when arrives next to us; "My dog doesn't know to stop when is chasing the ball. Usually no one is in here so I threw the ball without looking, sorry." He said pulling Bram by the dog collar.

"No problem" Brittany said still clutching to me and now with her head in the crook of my neck.

"Have a good afternoon, ladies, I hope Bram and myself don't bother you again." The man said walking away with the dog.

"The dog scared me!"

"I know Brittany; I saw your face and it was priceless."

"Sure looked like the face you put when you thought Jake was your son."

"Nuh" I shake my head and touch her nose with my finger "I don't think so, that one was inimitable."

"I didn't want crush you!" Brittany realizes that we're kind of hugging.

"You can stay like this I don't mind. If we're girlfriends I think we handle shorter distance than this." Brittany let go of my waist and sat on the grass and I sat as well. "What is wrong? I said something to upset you?"

"It's been almost four weeks since the accident, and I just miss, the little things, like your laugh, helping each other with daily stupid problems or your smell, even our lame jokes" She smiles sadly "I know is silly but we were also good friends."

I'm speechless, flattered, blushing all at the same time; essentially I don't know what is going on with me. Can you fall in love with someone for a simple statement? I approached her and hugged from behind putting my hands around her belly to bring her close to me and finally I put my chin on her left shoulder. Brittany has her head a little bit turned because is staring at me.

"Britt, these are the sweetest words that someone ever has said to me."

She flinches a little bit I don't know if is because of words or is due to the hug. And then I kissed her; it was a peck, my lips touching hers, only for 5 seconds because I remember how ended the last time I kissed her.

"I'm sorry you feel sad and I'm sorry I kissed you again, since the last time you made it your point about me kissing you pretty clear."

I don't open my eyes because I was waiting for a slap. I know that Brittany don't like violence but perhaps her patience ran out. When I open them, Brittany is looking at me with a goofy smile and rushed to kiss me back. This isn't what I was expecting, but I'm not complaining, not at all.

"So, have you any daily basis problems you want to discuss?" I said when we broke the kiss "I'm all ears."

"Santana Lopez, saving the day." Her smile almost reaches her eyes.

"That's so me."

"You're so full of it!"

"That's so me, too" I smirked.

My phone rang breaking the moment.

"Came back to the hospital, I won't get fired because you don't care about the rules" Mike said in the other side of the line.

"Ok, I'll be there in a few, since you asked so politely Chang. I see you at the hospital."

"I wasn't asking" Mike complaint "If you don't come back Quinn will haunt you and I'm not going to stop her" He hangs up.

Brittany tries to get up, but put I her down again gently grabbing her wrist.

"What are you doing? You said that you will be there in a few."

"It could be a few hours" I smile. "I like it in here."

"Come on" She gets up and offered me her hand.

We undo the path we previously took and now we walked much closer than before. My phone rings again, I was so happy when I was cut off from the world. Brittany took my hand while we continue walking.

"Give me the phone I'll answer. Santana can't answer right now is busy."

She looks at me smiling and then her smiles fades, this can't be good! She let go my hand and give me my phone back "Kitty wants to talk with you."

"What!" Why always the timing is so bad for me!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

"When I was with her, Kitty called."

"And…?"

"And after I hang up Brittany said that everything was okay!"

"Maybe is because everything is ok!" Rachel exclaimed. "Maybe she meant it. Most of people meant what they said in first place."

I called Rachel because I'm confused I don't know what to do, but I don't think she's helping.

"Let me get this clear, are you saying that when you tell Jesse that everything is ok, actually is everything ok?" I asked in disbelief.

"No, not even close!"

"There you have it!"

"But Santana, I'm Rachel Barba Berry I'm one of a kind, I do things like these all the time."

"Do you realize that is so weird when you call yourself things like 'one of a kind'."

"Jesse is my husband he knows me and he does the same stuff."

She's right, see a fight between them is funny, of course when they are arguing about stupid things like movie, actors or music and the one who wins is who makes the better storm out of the room. After, they always come back to ask me which one is the best.

"Well... She's my girlfriend too...? Kind of…? She could…." That's right sentence "She could be my girlfriend!"

"Seriously, that is your strongest point? And what about kitty, what she wanted?"

"She wanted to reschedule our chat so we met earlier …."

* * *

"_Sorry we had to meet in a hurry but I need go back to New York."_

"_New York? I didn't know. You have been in here for almost…." I said while mentally I'm trying to count the days. _

"_A month, I took a break from work, since my girlfriend had a car accident is the least I can do, but things got complicated and I need to come back for a while and since you seem don't notice my presence…." She sounds defeated. _

"_What are you doing in Boston? I mean you came to visit me but what about the rest of the day, if you didn't live in here." I'm curious._

"_I can do my job from anywhere, after a week I decided to work again it was the easy way to distract myself from the recent events." _

"_What is your job?"_

"_I'm an editor, so right know I'm reading stuff and going to meet some writers around Boston." _

_I'm feeling a little guilty, maybe I was spending more time with Brittany than her. _

"_I can understand that right now everything is confusing for you." She still speaks. "And don't worry I'm not going to verbally attack Brittany or anything; I'm just hoping you can remember everything and we can be together again." _

_This soft side of Kitty is confusing me; it's easier to think she's the one who's lying when she's a total bitch._

"_I'm …"_

"_So your birthday is 24 of July, favorite movie is 'Life is beautiful and you don't have any siblings but sometimes I could swear than you and Rachel argue like true sisters." She smiled. _

"_You know Rachel?" Rachel didn't tell anything about her._

"_I knew her because you always talk about her, but I didn't meet in person until that day at the hospital." __She__cleared her throat,_ "_Listen, we met in a club, we liked each other we dance and we sleep together. I know is not the most glamorous start for a love story and I hope nobody brings that in a toast if one day we'll getting married." She smirks, "But is a start indeed." _

_So we started like a one night stand that seems plausible in my world. _

"_But we meet again by accident because you work for my aunt, Sue."_

"_Your aunt is Sue? I thought that woman was alone in the world!"_

"_No, she has two sisters and one of them is my mother."_

"_I'm not buying it, I pretty sure I wouldn't risk my work because of a one night stand!"_

"_So little faith, you know my aunt doesn't give a fuck about anything is not money, more accurately her money, so my relationship with her is just cordial but nothing more."_

"_Yeah, she seems that doesn't have a heart sometimes" Kitty looked straight on my eyes "No offense."_

"_Non taken, whatever, we had a relationship with no strings attached and after a time we talked about it and became a thing." _

"_I can understand the relationship with no strings attached, but how in hell you convinced me to start a real relationship?"_

"_Are you kidding? It was your idea I think you freaked out a little when Rachel's son was born, like a midlife crisis or something like that."_

* * *

And, what's the verdict?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know."

"It's a shame that your Mexican third eye only is useful with others and not yourself."

"Rachel, you're always a light of sunshine in my life."

"Thank you!"

"I was being sarcastic."

"I know, but I prefer to omit that part and take the compliment."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"When you are going to be discharged?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to stay in Boston or coming back to New York?"

"I don't know either" I think my head starts to hurt "Okay, this conversation is not helping me, I'm hanging up. Hugs for Jonah."

* * *

A couple of days after, doctor Schuester finally gave me the discharge, so tomorrow I leaving the hospital and right now I'm calling Puck.

"I need a ride; can you pick me up tomorrow?"

"I could if you ask me again but more nicely this time?" I can recognize the smirk in his voice.

"Seriously Puck, you are always pestering me about friendship all the time..."

"Friends ask stuff nicely to others friends."

"Real friends just do stuff for their friends without them being a pain in the ass!"

"Okay, okay I will pick you up! But stop whining."

* * *

After I packed my things I'm ready to leave the hospital and I'm finally free. Quinn and Mike are on their respective breaks from work to say goodbye, even I told them it wasn't necessary.

"When you unpacked your things and have everything under control, call us for a drink!" Mike said while he's sitting on the sofa eating a sandwich. "Of course is your treat!"

"Of course, I will call, but will see who pays"

So since I live in Boston it seems I haven't had many friends and probably is my fault. I'm always the one who is working too much, so I decided that maybe I could change that and Mike, Quinn or even Puck is a good start.

"I still don't understand why you didn't call Rachel and Jesse" Mike says.

"They're my friends not my babysitters." I said nonchalantly. "And New York is a little bit far."

"And you call Puck, instead?" I glared at him and he laughs, "I know he's not that bad when you get used to his antics."

Mike explained that Puck and he were friends from high school.

"But don't tell him that."

"Don't worry, I won't."

"Talking of the devil" Quinn said as she enters. "Puck is telling me that on Friday is a dinner on Santana's place to show him your gratitude for the ride, is that true?

"Whaaaat!?"

"I will take that as a no. I mean I believed the story until he said that was to show him your gratitude" She laughed.

"Tell that tool that of course there will be a dinner at my place, but he's not invited."

"He says that you can call a taxi, then."

"Okay, tell him, he can call a babysitter for Jake when he wants to go out with a date."

"Puck says he will be in the parking lot in 15 minutes." Quinn read the screen of her phone.

"I think that's the beginning of a great friendship" Mike said and Quinn nodded.

After saying goodbye I make my way to outside, Brittany and Kitty are already here.

"Are you leaving the hospital?" Brittany asked clapping her hands together.

"Yes! It was about time!" I said putting my hands on the pockets.

"You could have said something! We could have gone to celebrate!" Kitty adds.

"Let me speak" I need to get this done quickly "This is a death end for everybody and I'm sure you know that, as well. I don't know if I would be able to remember anything, but I don't care I'm alive and all this stuff but the problem is that this gap of time is directly related with both of you. And this is wrong" I said gesturing between the three. "I mean, you two can't wait forever for my memories with your lives in a kind of standby, is not fair."

The two women standing next to me have a surprised face but I don't think saying 'I'm sorry for the things I can't remember' would be a better solution or a good apologize for that matter, and again I'm not sure if I owe them an apology, this is so weird. So this is the only thing I could come up in my mind.

"Now I'm going home to try to carry on with my life. This is the best I could think" I smiled sincerely. "I'm breaking up with the two of you, since I still don't know who my girlfriend was , it's the right thing to do."

"What!" I heard the two blondes scream at the same time, while I'm walking towards Puck's car.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

**Finding the girlfriend. Puck, Rachel and yourself.**

_Puck changed group's name to 'You dumped both of them, shame on you'._

* Excuse me? – Rachel.

* She broke up with the two blondes o_O! – Puck.

* I can read Puck, thank you – Rachel.

* Puck shut up! And stop using emoticons! – Santana.

* At least you could have picked one, what a loss! – Puck.

* Can I call one of them? – Puck.

* Or both? ;) – Puck.

* If you don't mind, of course – Puck.

_Santana changed group's name to 'Puck I'm going to kill you'. _

* Is that a no? – Puck.

* What do you think? – Santana.

* Just checking – Puck.

* I did the right thing; in fact, I was following your advice for once – Santana.

* I told you to talk to me first, before you did anything – Rachel.

* You're not my mother, in case you don't remember it – Santana.

* I don't need tell you everything I do – Santana.

_Puck changed the group name to 'Lopez loseeeeer'._

* Stop with the fucking names – Santana.

_* Santana changed the group name to '*****'. _

* What did you do Santana? – Rachel.

_Puck changed the group name to 'You dumped both of them, shame on you'._

* Santana answer me – Rachel.

* Santana Lopez – Rachel.

* I know you're reading this, answer! – Rachel.

* In the old days I would be pestering you until you answered my messages – Rachel.

* But now I have so many duties to attend and a son to take care, I don't have that amount of free time so I'm calling you – Rachel.

* No fair, I wanna know what you two speak – Puck.

* Can we all Skype together? – Puck.

"Your words were something like 'My advice is stay away from both of them if you can't know who is telling the truth' and 'you don't need a stalker in your live'." I said mimicking Rachel's annoying voice.

"First of all I don't talk like that, my voice is very pleasant." It was the answer in the other side of the line.

"Is the only you are going to say? For once, I just did what you told me."

"Okay, you always do what you want, so don't blame me if anything goes wrong. I can understand that you did the most practical thing, but on the assumption that one of them is your truly girlfriend, probably she'll very angry with you."

"Thank you." I said ironically.

"I'm glad to help."

"There's is someone knocking on my door, we talk later."

"Take care of yourself." And the other side of the line went dead.

The one who's knocking at my door seems to be in a hurry, if is Puck, I swear I'm going to kill him. But thinking about it he can't be the one who knocking see lives like 15 minutes away from here. When I open the door someone pushes it and comes into my house.

"Who you think you are?" A blonde shouts. "You broke up with me; oh sorry, not even just with me, with another woman at the same time. I think is a new record for yourself!"

It's not necessary to be a genius to deduce that Kitty is angry.

"I understand you are angry. I know I could handle the situation a little bit better." I said closing the door and walking towards her in the living room.

"A little bit better?" she chuckled bitterly and slapped me.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I was in shock.

"I'm beyond of angry!" I was about to protest but she raise her index finger and talk again "But I'm awesome and I'll be let this misunderstanding go in order we could be fine again."

Kitty tries to hug me or kiss me, I'm not sure, but I'm worried that if she actually hugs me she could stab me in the back so I make a couple of steps back to put distance between us.

"Are you bipolar or something like that?" I said touching my hurting face "When you let things go, you don't go around slapping people faces! And you already slapped me twice next time I'm going to slap you back."

"You can't slap your girlfriend!"

"What? You just slapped me!"

"So you're admitting that you're my girlfriend! That's the only thing I need to hear now I have to go." Kitty kissed me on the cheek and walks away. The woman is nuts!

"What? NO! I didn't say that I just..." I couldn't finish the sentence Kitty was out of the door. "Why me? Why crazy people are always around me?" I complained at loud.

The next morning I'm sitting in the kitchen having breakfast while I'm waiting to Puck which is bringing Jake with me because he has an appointment for a job interview.

"You're early!" I said opening the door without looking.

"You're always expecting someone else."

I turn myself to see Brittany standing at me door and I remembered what happened yesterday with Kitty and my face become in a worried one. I had enough drama yesterday, for god's sake.

"Don't worry; I'm not here to trying to get back together, asking for explanations or anything like that, Quinn gave me this for you." She says and gives me a bag. "Clothing you forgot at the hospital."

"Thanks! I didn't realize I left something."

"She asked me to bring the clothes because she has to work" Brittany explained.

"I didn't know you and Quinn are friends."

"Well, yeah, kind of" She shrugs.

I thought Quinn and Brittany didn't know each other and don't remember even them talking.

"Do you want drink something? I'm having breakfast" I said pointing towards the kitchen.

"I can't. I need to get going or I will be late for work." She quickly answered.

"Wait!" She is about to start walking but I stopped her. "What do you mean when you said that I didn't have to worry because you aren't in here to trying to get back with me?"

I'm curious and a little bit offended I mean, just look at me, I'm worth enough to fight for me.

"Listen Santana; I make the same mistakes, feels like I never learn, always giving way too much for little in return. I thought that with you would be different, but I was wrong. This is too difficult... Plus, you made your point pretty clear when you broke up with me."

Now I'm fully offended; I meant I don't want Brittany crying her heart out or something like that, but a little bit of sadness at least. I almost can hear Rachel saying 'What were you expecting?' with her annoying 'I told you' tone of voice. I know that don't make any sense but sometimes I'm an arrogant asshole when my pride is hurt and I'm too old to change.

"Like you said now you can carry on with your life." She said and walks away.

With that last sentence I can see that she's is a little bit angry with me! You don't quote other people words for nothing. Yeah! She is angry that means she cares about me. One moment! I'm glad that she's mad at me because I broke up with her, even she doesn't show it openly. Maybe Rachel is right and sometimes I'm complicated like the dog in the manger.

Jake is sitting in the sofa, changing between channels of TV until finds adventure time.

"Is the only thing you watch on TV?"

"No" He looks almost offended "I like Pokémon too!"

"I had a friend who likes adventure time too."

"Had? That means isn't your friend anymore? Is mad at you?"

"Yes? No? I don't know? I'm not sure."

"I don't understand it."

"Me neither."

"When I'm sad my brother always makes me laugh or sings to me. If you like your friend you could do something nice." Jake smiles to me and turns his head towards the TV.

Maybe I will, because what I did to her wasn't cool, first kissing her and after that breaking up. In fact, Brittany should be the maddest, instead of kitty. I need to start to make things right.

After a couple of days and thanks to a child's idea I'm at the park that is in Brittany's way home, hoping she stops by here at some point. Jake is running around disguised as a tan version of Finn, sword in hand and fighting imaginary monsters, while I'm sitting in a bench disguised as a Marceline, because according to the little kid we both have black long hair so is perfect for me.

I still don't understand how I'm always using Puckerman's family ideas at the end. How bad could be using Jake's idea? Probably, the results would be better than with Puck's ideas. And when I think I see Brittany walking at the park I start to sing.

"Marceline, is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world? That must be so confusing for a little girl. And I know you're going to need me here with you. But I'm losing myself, and I'm afraid you're gonna lose me too. This magic keeps me alive, but it's making me crazy, and I need to save you, but who's going to save me? Please forgive me for whatever I do, when I don't remember you." I sing.

There's no sign of Brittany maybe I saw the wrong blonde walking, shit! Now I can't stop in the middle of the song because there are some people looking at me.

"Marceline, I can feel myself slipping away. I can't remember what it made me say. But I remember that I saw you frown. I swear it wasn't me, it was the crown. This magic keeps me alive, but it's making me crazy. And I need to save you, but who's going to save me?"

While I'm singing Jake runs around me and I start to think that maybe I should have chosen another way to get on good terms with Brittany.

"Please forgive me for whatever I do, when I don't remember you. Please forgive me for whatever I do, when I don't remember you." This part of the song reminds me in some kind of weird way to our situation, more or less.

"Da da, da da da da da, Da da, da da da da, Da da da da da da" Jake joins me at the end of the song.


End file.
